My name is Juilence Tipper, and I am with the Horatio Hour. I am in Surrey to talk with Mr Earl Greyish, who claims that trolls live in his shed.
Mr. Earl Greyish, as I understand it, you have trolls living in your shed. Would you please tell us more about this?
It is a family of about 100 trolls. They are nice enough, but lately, they have become a bloody nuisance. Apparently, they are at war with a rival faction, and quite frankly, it is difficult to work on my projects when various weapons are flying around.
That sounds dreadful, but how is it that your shed is big enough to house trolls and you?
Well, as it turns out, my shed exists outside the laws of physics, which means it will expand in accordance with how much is needed, just like in the movies.
I am sorry, Mr. Greyish, it sounds like absolute poppycock.
Well, come and see for yourself.
Oh, my word, you are right; the noise is unbearable, although I must commend them for stopping their fight to say hello.
But is there not anything you can do about the fighting? It sounds highly illegal.
I was talking with my mate Ever Jupiter down at City Hall, and she understands my frustration, but trolls fall outside the country’s purview. She did mention trying to report them to The HMRC for tax evasion because who does not fear the HMRC, but it seems a bit cruel.
What can you do then?
I discussed this with the Association of Fairies and the Witches Coalition, and we will try to negotiate a peace treaty tonight since it also affects their realm.
Mr. Greyish, if all fails, couldn´t you just move?
The missus and I have been living here for more than 200 years, and we are very attached to the place.
I understand; thank you very much for telling your harrowing story.